Bhavani - To The Rescue

It’s been over 2 years since the gruesome Nirbhaya’s gang rape case is seeking justice at the Indian Court of law. While the family and the whole nation awaits for the verdict, amidst all this, technology gives birth to Bhavani – a portable self-defense device for women. Bhavani is an end result of the collaboration of best engineering minds from India, Japan, Germany and United Kingdom joining hands with the leadership of Indian Martial Arts experts and sports medicine doctors.

Dr-Pavan Kohli, an orthopaedic doctor from Pune is the brain behind Bhavani. He proudly describes this as a “first fully-legal and complete self-defense device for women.” He refrains from using the word weapon as he feels that it defeats the purpose of why the device came into existence and that people don’t like to be associated as someone carrying a weapon in their bag.

The device which looks like a baton, weighs about 1.5kilograms and in its full range is two feet three inches long. The device when contracted, measures nine inches in length and can be easily slipped in a handbag.

The device boasts of combining five engineering technologies – electrical, electronics, chemical, telecommunications and mechanical. In layman terms, the design of Bhavani in its full length resembles a Samurai sword with a stun gun, pepper spray, panic button, pen knife and a sewing kit and mirror. The inbuilt GPS helps in tracing the exact location of the victim and sends five SMS to 5 pre-fed members/numbers. The stun gun sends a high-intensity non-lethal electric shock to the attacker, just enough to throw the attacker one-two feet away. The panic button when pressed sends out a loud buzzer to call for help from passer-by. The baton also has pepper spray to throw the miscreant about 5-6 feet away. The Samurai baton and the pen knife come in handy in protecting the women during physical assault.

Bhavani was unveiled on 9th of March by Nirbhaya’s parents. That being the biggest irony!

The device will be available with all government and private agencies in the next 30days and can be picked for an amount of Rs5000. I urge all the women to invest in the device to be self-protected. To all the men, I would say, this is the best gift of safety to the woman you love in your life.

I hope that justice to the case is giving as swiftly as Bhavani promises to rescue the women in India and worldwide.

Go Girl Go

It's the International Women's Day today. I love everything about this day. Special discounts, lots of wishes from friend's and family. This really makes me feel special. I am sure many echo on these aspects with me.

There's always this pressure on a woman to be able to manage work and life flawlessly. To be able to multitask. But this women's day let's take a moment and ask the men we know, how they would balance work and family? How often they give the woman of the house the most needed break?

To see a woman multitask, balance, be patient with her family and yet dare to be unapologetic is what I feel is a complete phenomenal woman. Being a woman, I feel the need of the hour is not to be resentful, but to be calm and and be multidimensional.

I believe anything in excess gets stressful to cope with. Hence, it's extremely important to be able to set your priorities in place (Ladies, this was the most valuable piece of advice that I have got till date from a very close male friend of mine). With that, the only thing that comes to mind is there is only one person in your life who's of utmost importance - YOURSELF.

Let's for once, stop getting this age old sexist divide in the forefront of what a woman can or has to do versus what a man is meant to do. Rather, focus on understanding that both men and women are equal and deserve to be respected that way. Women have to flaunt their feminism with lot more confidence. It's necessary to retain the feminine sensitivities. Nurturing the masculine side, will only do more harm than any good. Ladies, we are not here to win the battle of the hour with men and indulge ourselves in male bashing. The focus needs to be more on making ourselves better rather than letting the male counterpart do that for us.

Ladies, stop being so hard on yourself. Splurge. Love yourself.

Pinkathon - An Awareness to spread

In the wee hours of a Sunday morning, I witness an ocean of young girls, middle aged women and women in their 70's assembling on the roads of Bangalore city to spread the awareness of Breast Cancer and to lend their support in motivating each other and many more about the importance of fitness in their life. They all joined hands with Pinkathon - 3km, 5km and 10km Marathon run organised by SBI.

The registered women, oops sorry, they now are The Pink Sister's as they would fondly like to be addressed, assembled for the warm up session from Sameer and his team who flew down all the way from Delhi to be a part of this noble cause. The vibe and energy in the stadium was magnificent. The joy of feeling good and feeling empowered was clearly the aura. Zumba fitness on peppy music saw all the Pink Sister's sway.

The show steal-er was definitely the hot and a true gentleman Milind Soman. He strongly supports and cheers for the good health of all the women. He's takes utmost interest and promotes awareness on women's health on a large scale. He addressed all the women and flagged off the Pinkathon Bangalore. The man is so fit that it was enough to motivate women to stand at the start line for the run.

Milind Soman

To hear to some of the heart clenching cancer survived women talk about their battles with such a life threatening disease and coming out of it and how, leading a healthy and normal life as any of us today makes us realize how important it is to keep ourselves fit, to be familiar with our own bodies and be alert to even the slightest deviation from it's otherwise normal functions and anatomy. Sending out the message loud and clear by one of the cancer survivor - "Its important to stay abreast about your breasts" was the need of the hour. There definitely was no shying away or even a single moment of awkwardness from the talks and phrases involving a woman's anatomy.

I urge all the women today to be self aware about your health and motivate all your female associations in friends and family to inculcate a healthy lifestyle.

Run for awareness, run for pride and fly with the wind!! Join hands to completely eradicate Breast Cancer.

Stay healthy. Stay fit and love yourself.

An endless, enjoyable drive - My Honda Mobilio

As I walked past the busy street of Lavelle Road in Bangalore on a sunny Saturday afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from giving a second look. Giving a second look to a guy is so passé. I saw this magnificently build white car - Honda Mobilio parked at a bistro. The gleaming sun rays made it look all the more desirable. It instantly hit the right chords in my heart and I decided to go in for a test-drive.

There's absolutely no second thought that a premium brand like Honda would let me down. I had sky-high expectations from this car with the looks it possessed. Let me start with the external features. This is not the first of it's kind in the MPV category, but is comes across as a less boxy design. Personally, I like the Honda logo which is bigger in size and placed at the center of the superior quality steel chrome bar. The ground clearance of this vehicle is class-leading. The bumper is sleeker and the chiselled look on the sides make it a proud Honda prodigy. It has broad and extended wheelbase and a tapering end which satisfies the ask for both people's carrier as well as the sporty look. It has the best in class, stylish hatch which instantly gives it a sophisticated rear.

The first thing you notice as you step inside is the space. There is enough leg room. The dashboard of Mobilio is on the same platform as Honda Brio and Honda Amaze. The seat behind the wheels is adjustable top-down and front back which is a plus point for people belonging to different tallness. The seats are slimmer and can be folded into various combinations making it very flexible. It definitely provides an option to those who are planning to live out of a car. The higher versions of Mobilio have more added features. I really wished the plastic quality on the dashboard was on par with the exteriors. For the brand that Honda claims to be, the finish could have been much better.

The interiors

However, that did not deter me from test driving the car. I am not an expert who specializes on technicalities, but for all the women out there aspiring to drive an SUV/MPV, I certainly have some inputs. I drive a petrol version, i-Vtec (S) precisely, which is 1497CC. At idle, you can hardly hear it and at revs, it's pretty smooth. The clutch to gear shift is extremely effortless. I don't really fancy driving an automated gear shift car. Mobilio has a 5-shift gear box which I thought could have had 6-gears considering the top speed it touches.The certified fuel efficiency for Mobilio is around 17.3kmpl, unless I drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I really feel quite secure as I drive through the Bangalore traffic in Mobilio. Although, quick lane changes are not greeted by an MPV car, you still experience the pleasure of driving it. Being, a Honda class car, Mobilio is reasonbaly powerful and for all the top speed lover's, you will not have a problem cruising at a three-digit speed.

I don't measure my driving pleasure only on speed. For me, it's more of comfort and safety along with speed. Mobilio fits the bill completely and I enjoy my endless drive every single day.

Cupid - Confused and Uncommitted

On Valentine's Day, if there's one being who is ultra-busy is our own Mr.Cupid with the halo on head and bow and arrow waiting to strike at the mushy lovers all over the world. Awww.. how cute!! The demand for him to be available is sky high. To how many can he reach out? How many couplings can he actually succeed in making? That surely is a million dollar question.

The great Indian lover, or might I as well say the global match maker is confused. Ask Why? Because his existence is diminishing with the ever growing technology taking his special place. How often do we say like in our very desi Hindi movies the kabootars (pigeons) carrying the message of love? How likely is it that people today write love notes and surprise their loved ones today?

Gone are the days where songs like "Kya yahi pyaar hai" was on top of every lovers playlist. Today it is substituted with "Baby Doll mein sone di". Where is the essence of love? I know, it's replaced with lust. Love is more like having the hottest chick in town as your arm candy. But with this chick, do you really plan to paint the town red? Not Really. Has the cupid changed his definition or is he confused and uncommitted?

When cupid strikes, how in the world will I know it is you? It's important to have some tricks up your sleeve and not always fall prey to the Red Roses, the Heart shaped lip-smacking dark chocolates. These are just sudden outburst for the day. But will it continue for a lifetime? Our Cupid doesn't have a prepared answer. Sorry.

Not so long ago, cupid explored the parks in search of budding love stories. If the park benches could talk, the love stories that bloomed through a conversations on a bench, they would become epic short stories. It's hard to believe that parks are no more public spaces for love. The paranoia it brings to our lovers by the activists, scares the shit out of people in love. The solution? Parks have been conveniently replaced by Pubs today. You find girls and boys as young as 11 in pubs having a drink and talking with the F-bomb in every statement they  make, like it's their birthright to use the word and impress one another. No surprises here simply because there's no enough commitment. They love the no strings attached. Yeah right! Then why crave for being in love.

For now, I take a leave and let Mr.Cupid clear his head off the confusion and the phobia of commitment.  

Unconditional Love – It’s only an overrated myth

For a restless person like me, to discover love, which vouched by many is the most beautiful feeling in the world – was like finding a souvenir. I saw excitement in the faces of people when they got mushy, cuddled in public places, planted kisses to show the oh-we-are-so-in-love picture. I thought yes there does exist a world where one gives and receives unconditional love.

I wanted to venture into this world and unearth some of the secrets. Slowly as I started, I had this morbid fixation and desperation.

I came across people who said "love is beyond the looks". This is the first big pile of shit. Let’s be honest and ask ourselves, how many of us have approached an ugly duckling for a conversation? How many of us have made the first move to extend a hand shake with a snobbish man? I am sure none of us. Now in situations like these, what is the love that we are talking about? Looks are essential for the conversation to take off between two people. When it comes to getting into a relationship, you for sure want to have the best person as an arm candy. Maybe, after a certain time looks don’t matter. But till you reach that phase, you constantly ask yourself “do we even make a pair?”

In a world of technology where you post your picture on Instagram and then you have hundreds of people hitting the heart button instantly makes your eyelid flutter and blood rushing through your cheeks. In a jiffy, you are friends on Facebook liking even the most bizarre post, follow each other on Twitter out of inquisition. Then one fine day you make arrangements to meet over a cup of chai or coffee. You sense there is an instant connection, violin playing in the background, love the breeze through your hair. And the mood for romance sets in. Waow, what a screenplay! Technology has made romance harder, not easier. Because once the 'rosy phase' is over, reality sets in. My second on love quest comes crashing down.

Thirdly, I try and see if I can get some respite on love from all the married couple's I have known (inclusive of my friends and folks) who have taken wedding vows promising unconditional love all life to one another. Today they are less in love and more with each other out of responsibility. They've forgotten their friends because they were keen on knowing the friends of their spouse (more apt in case of the woman in wedlock). I vaguely remember when was the last time my parents took time off to spend an evening together. For those to-be married, the courtship period is more of planning the dream wedding and not about going to a near-by park for a walk hand-in-hand.

I am sure there are more facets to love and its understanding than the three I have stated. But I feel devastated as I write this blog. Especially on love because it has diminished my expectation from anyone close. I wake up jolted and say to myself "Shit I dint even know this is something I have been in search of. And it's high time I stop!"

After many many days, as I sit to back up all the old memories, both good and bad, in my organ responsible for sensation and intellectual nervous activity, I came to terms with acknowledging that we, humans are not perfect. It is a syndrome that many of us suffer. It is a fact each and every one of us has to embrace - all of us have flaws. Period. There are handful of people whom I have met personally, who embrace the flaws in them and flaunt them as opposed to shying away from it. 

I still fail to understand the concept of being loved unconditionally vs being a doormat. Although I have tried to clear my confusion every time, I have failed miserably. It is a myth.

If you route your happiness to people, you hand them the option of blocking it.

Finally I settled in to believe - The only person who can give you and get unconditional love from is YOU. 

The Sensitive Third World – LGBT

You cannot help but notice them, standing on the pavement, at signals – faces shining with a heavy layer of pancake, statuesque bodies clad in wispy chiffon saris or satiny, tight fitting salwar kameez, bangles on their hairy arms. So difficult is their live's today that people belonging to the third gender find access barred to malls, workplaces, even hospitals.

For some to be born as a female trapped in a male body or vice-versa, the gender of the soul to that of the body did not seem to match. It was like growing up in a confined body that you don’t recognize. For a long time in India, children born as hermaphrodites were handed over to the community of eunuchs. When these kids grew up in a community which demands that a man feels sexually attracted to a woman and a woman gets sexually inclined towards a man, these community people were called as hijda, chakka, sixer, enunchs. That is what it came down to and like all we care!

What I notice in some parts of the society who respect the sensitivities associated with sexual desire and demands that there has been a growing awareness of hermaphrodites and many young parents are contemplating corrective sexual surgery for their children. Though the genitals mark your identity, it is the hormones that decide your behavior. A misconception is when there is a sex change, society feels a person has changed his sex to get into a relationship with the opposite sex. But the fact remains, they do so to get a new identity and to have a relation with their own self, which was somewhere lost and definitely not for others.

Let’s face it, the double-standard mind-set that we have today says, it’s important to accept ourselves, but for a child as he/she grows up, what is fed is, people around you should accept you in the first place so you get self-acceptance. And that builds a lot of pressure. We bring up kids where the ultimatum is to get married. In situations like these, they are left abandoned because many don’t understand the sensitivities of this and they don’t see the family lineage going forward (I include the females because they will not bear kids in their womb to take the family forward). They start to live in denial and trust me there is no slow poison as lethal as living in denial.

First off, recognize and realize that having a certain sexual orientation is not a disease which pronounces a person as terminally ill. It’s a mix of biological, hormonal, genetic and psychological variances. If you ask a heterosexual to become a homosexual or bisexual it is not possible, then why force or give an option to opt out of it for a person who is a homosexual.

Everything in the society is clearly demarcated as male and female, right from how a child is supposed to play, what toys the child chooses to play with is so closely monitored to the responsibilities that he or she takes up at home or in the world outside on becoming an adult. Everything is so clearly outlined as the ‘man’ or the ‘woman’ thing to do. Baffled by the ‘abnormal’ behavior of a child when he/she confesses the liking's or that of a transgender child, many parents punish them – sometimes quite brutally – and unwittingly make them feel like a freak. When the so called “normal” kids play outside, they are warned from befriending the kids who fall under this “LGBT” category out of fear that these “normal” kids might as well develop the same inclination and as a result might ridicule the family. What is important today is to teach them that people who they interact with are as normal as the assembled “Male” and “Female” community.

Not so long ago, I was one among those many people who was always scared of interacting with people who din't belong to the quintessential community. I twitched my face every time I saw them. I ran in the opposite direction the moment I realized they were approaching me for money. I always felt inconvenienced in their presence. But as I “educated” myself about them I understood one important and quality emotion that they all have in common - they are never in search of sympathy. All they want is a life of dignity. This is only possible if we actively include them in the mainstream, so that they can have a dignified life as normal as anyone of us desire to have. What is stopping us from giving them the respect and acceptance they deserve?

Today, as I wait for signal to turn green, or in an auto, or in any public transport and I see a transgender approaching me, I do hand over money with dignity and smile back. It feels nice to be reciprocated with the same warmth. It is thus important to accept them socially and interact with them with equal ease like you and me.

Oh and one more thing, I now call them as my “smiling friends”.