Unconditional Love – It’s only an overrated myth

For a restless person like me, to discover love, which vouched by many is the most beautiful feeling in the world – was like finding a souvenir. I saw excitement in the faces of people when they got mushy, cuddled in public places, planted kisses to show the oh-we-are-so-in-love picture. I thought yes there does exist a world where one gives and receives unconditional love.

I wanted to venture into this world and unearth some of the secrets. Slowly as I started, I had this morbid fixation and desperation.

I came across people who said "love is beyond the looks". This is the first big pile of shit. Let’s be honest and ask ourselves, how many of us have approached an ugly duckling for a conversation? How many of us have made the first move to extend a hand shake with a snobbish man? I am sure none of us. Now in situations like these, what is the love that we are talking about? Looks are essential for the conversation to take off between two people. When it comes to getting into a relationship, you for sure want to have the best person as an arm candy. Maybe, after a certain time looks don’t matter. But till you reach that phase, you constantly ask yourself “do we even make a pair?”

In a world of technology where you post your picture on Instagram and then you have hundreds of people hitting the heart button instantly makes your eyelid flutter and blood rushing through your cheeks. In a jiffy, you are friends on Facebook liking even the most bizarre post, follow each other on Twitter out of inquisition. Then one fine day you make arrangements to meet over a cup of chai or coffee. You sense there is an instant connection, violin playing in the background, love the breeze through your hair. And the mood for romance sets in. Waow, what a screenplay! Technology has made romance harder, not easier. Because once the 'rosy phase' is over, reality sets in. My second on love quest comes crashing down.

Thirdly, I try and see if I can get some respite on love from all the married couple's I have known (inclusive of my friends and folks) who have taken wedding vows promising unconditional love all life to one another. Today they are less in love and more with each other out of responsibility. They've forgotten their friends because they were keen on knowing the friends of their spouse (more apt in case of the woman in wedlock). I vaguely remember when was the last time my parents took time off to spend an evening together. For those to-be married, the courtship period is more of planning the dream wedding and not about going to a near-by park for a walk hand-in-hand.

I am sure there are more facets to love and its understanding than the three I have stated. But I feel devastated as I write this blog. Especially on love because it has diminished my expectation from anyone close. I wake up jolted and say to myself "Shit I dint even know this is something I have been in search of. And it's high time I stop!"

After many many days, as I sit to back up all the old memories, both good and bad, in my organ responsible for sensation and intellectual nervous activity, I came to terms with acknowledging that we, humans are not perfect. It is a syndrome that many of us suffer. It is a fact each and every one of us has to embrace - all of us have flaws. Period. There are handful of people whom I have met personally, who embrace the flaws in them and flaunt them as opposed to shying away from it. 

I still fail to understand the concept of being loved unconditionally vs being a doormat. Although I have tried to clear my confusion every time, I have failed miserably. It is a myth.

If you route your happiness to people, you hand them the option of blocking it.

Finally I settled in to believe - The only person who can give you and get unconditional love from is YOU.