My tyrst with Mr. Insomniac

Every time when someone would ask me, "Hey, did you sleep fine?", I flustered to answer this question. Most of my friends would easily respond saying they had a good nights sleep. I always failed to comprehend what is a good nights sleep and how does one have a good nights sleep?

Is it to snore your way to glory? Is it the tiredness after great sex (I say that because, all my friends are married and love their spouses)? Is it the rumbling sound of the fan which is critical to put you to sleep? Is it the nice playlist on your phone which is a must? Is the bed time stories to tell your child while you put them to bed? Is it a nice book by the bed side you read before you close your eyes into the imaginary world? Is it the romantic movie you watch which magnifies your dreaming capabilities? I can go on and on..... but fail to understand how does one achieve a good nights sleep?

As I wonder on most of the days to get the answer to this question, I realized that during the nights I began falling in love with an imaginary soul - Mr.Insomniac. The more days I was awake, the more deeper we got connected. As funny as it might sound, but Mr.Insomniac doesn't really answer any of my questions, because he knows, if he did I would dump him. *wink*.

Well we started talking almost every night and I must say Mr.Insomniac is quite a personality and a great company. He ensures to make every single night of mine very interesting and longer than the previous one. He just doesn't give up even when I ask him to leave me alone for sometime. Such thick is our friendship. And what can I say, I see it growing deeper and thicker with every passing day.

As much as I like Mr.Insomniac and don't want my tryst with him to come to an end, I wish he understands that I need my space too. Yes Mister, you need to be alone on some days and  let me be alone as well. Only then will this friendship last longer, else you would see it gone before even one of us realizes.

I wish I had not…..

A lot of times we hear people say that I wish I had done this and done that, which means they regret not having done certain things in life.

Well, can you look back at your life and see if there were any moments in your life you wished you had not done? I do sometimes go through the phase were I feel I should not have done that, should not have said that, should not have even had a thought which I dint like cross my mind. But then, it was all done, said and thought. It was too late.

If you could go back and undo those times today, would you? I certainly would!! But how the conversations would have been while un-doing those times needed another level of courage and maturity to understand.

Every time, I have the thought of “I wish I had not” cross my mind, it leaves a very big impact making me feel awkward and the thought gets stuck in my head for a very long time until I perform the cleansing action. When I go through that mental anguish and look for a door to vent that anguish, I probably end up writing, not because I can’t articulate it, but because the pain is so deep that I feel my vocal chords stop functioning. The only permissive organs that functions at that point in time in my body are my mind, my broken heart and my tear glands.

Now that I wish I had not, but then I know I did, there comes the bigger battle to fight - holding myself accountable. The biggest irony, yet beauty of life is, not knowing how it’s your fault and yet being accountable for not having to do what you did. It’s a tough battle!!!

How many times have I gotten past that battle, I don’t know. I say I don’t know because I wish the venting and talking happened more realistically. I feel it’s a challenging event that happens to me.

I know I love myself a lot and I can love people who matter to me going all out, but I do feel miserable on some days. You might wonder how can one feel miserable if they are so self obsessed. I don't have answers to it either. Does my mind know? - Maybe. Does the thought in my mind say it loud and clear for me to accept it and move on - Maybe or Maybe not....

California, A dreamland - San Franciso and The Napa Valley

I landed in San Franciso, California on a cold or should I say chilled Thursday morning. First look as you start entering the city and you know this would be a magical place. San Franciso is a home to people from all cultures - the hippies, liberals, techhies, up class sophistication included.

As I toured through the city, my first stop was at the Golden Gate Bridge. This is one of San Franciso's famous landmark. As much a breathtaking view you get of the place, it is also true that you would not want to miss a single angle of this beautiful place. I was no different. Even with the coldest breeze blowing your hair and freezing your face, you still love every pictures captured.

The Golden Gate Bridge

Touring the city is an adventure in itself. The Fisherman's Wharf, Pier 39 and Ghiradelli Square speak volumes of the vibrant culture of this City with street performers, numerous souvenir shops and passer-by's waving at each other randomly is a sight to watch and experience. As you go around the city you realize that the entire city is crazy with steep roads thrown randomly at any junction you walk past.

At the Pier 39

SFO is a place where you can find almost all types of transportation. It's definenitly worth trying them all. Like the cable car, which is a must ride. The moment you enter this cable car, you would be amazed at how this age old mode of transportation is the most loved one in one of the most busiest places, The Union Square. People swarm the cable cars both as an adventure ride and as a serious transport mode.

Cable Car at The Union Square

SFO will never disappoint you with its vivacious aura. One such place is The Lombard Street. You will always wonder the craziness of people in SFO. The guide says, in SFO when you say someone that it can't be done, you will see it done. Hence, The Lombard Street was born. The pleasure it brings to the eyes of a tourist is unimaginable. If you have been procrastinating your workout, one uphill and downhill walk on this street and it will change your mind. Enough to motivate you to stay fit

Lombard Street

My weekend getaway in California was to The Napa Valley. As me and my friend drove zipping past the vineyards in the rains, the scintillating silence and the beauty of the nature both complied together is an experience and a sight you can't forget in the longest of time.

The route to Napa Valley - Had to be obvious

Needless to say why Napa has one of the best wines in the whole wide world. The wine tasting tour was definitely icing on the cake to this trip. One gets to taste a lot of different kinds of wines for low prices. It's a must visit with your partner for a romantic getaway. To sum up the entire wine tasting experience at Napa in just two words - Simply Divine.

Peju Vineyard

Merlot Wine

Being to San Franciso and Napa was just the tip of the ice-berg for the many things done and beyond. Until I get there again to see a lot more places, I wish to live-by and cherish the moments spent there. All worth it!!

Give it all or don't give at all..

It's been after a long time I decided to pen something down. When I sat down to think what I should be writing, my mind was hit with a tsunami of thoughts. Finally, I zeroed on something which is really close to my heart, which I have believed in the recent years of my life.

The thought of giving it all or not giving in the first place is very relative to every person. The word "all" has difference of perception. The possibility of giving it all for you may not be returned in "all" aspects to you. It's an ideology I believe in which to me is transformational. It's something I have learnt over the years of past experiences in my life and the people who have come and gone in my life. For those I know are genuine, I totally stand by them, support them and giving them without expecting to receive something. By doing so, you don't become an important part in their life, but you definitely will learn to honor your capabilities. You learn to hold yourself in high regards, even if it comes with a lot of pain in the process because that is what shapes you as a person.

When I look back to retrospect the person I was may not be long ago and to what I am today, I have definitely changed for my own good. Growth has been painful because it did not happen overnight. It came with its own grief and aches. When I just thought everything was going to be flatline, there always was this deep down self love which triaged the pains and pulled me back to life. It's always painful when you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. It's like hitting the gym the very first day and experiencing the soreness in the muscles the following day. But it's this transformation that makes you both fulfilling and challenging.

I am a strong believer of Karma. I do know what goes around comes around. Well, if I have been giving selflessly for so many years of my life, some day I hope the giver receives it too. Sometimes one tries very hard to convince people that we are human, that we matter and we are deserving. What I feel is, it's not important to convince people, its important to convince yourself.

And that my friend according to me is by giving it all. 

Definitely..... 30's is the new 20's

As I see myself and most of my friends starting a new chapter in life as we all step into 30, is there a sudden rage to do a lot many things than you anticipated? The bucket list unexpectedly seems to be the highest priority. 

I barely recall things that I wished for happened while I was in 20’s. Of course there always will be a few incidents that happened without much in your control. For now, let’s flush those off. I don’t have anything against all the twenty’s something but I honestly feel your 20’s aren't the best of years. 

30’s definitely yes. This is why….

When you try and find yourself as a person, making mistakes become inevitable. By that I don’t mean, you are all perfect and sorted when in 30’s. It’s  just that you get a lot more knowledgeable about stuff and make an informed decision rather than just assuming and then failing miserably and hoping the reverse assumption had worked. You have more direction towards what you want in life. This may sound cliched, but you definitely grow wiser as you get older. I say this not with the pretext of hair turning grey, but more on the lines of caring less about other people’s opinions of you and more about your own.

Women out there will love me for this and men surely will envy. Hell yeah, women in their thirties are smoking hot and a lot sexier. They exude confidence than ever before and play “I’m hot and I know it, whether or not you like it” on repeat mode in their minds. With the flair for creativity and experiment that they would have tried and tested enough in the past, they now get so close in understanding their bodies; exactly know what color, cut, fit in clothes suite them; how to make their tresses, what make up to be used. Elegance becomes prime importance than being flashy and weird looks. Taking care of the body as a place of worship is what it would be called. This only means there’s a new burst of feeling young and youthful and why not, after all age is just a number.

For having caught up in many situations in the past, by the time you’re in your 30’s one thing for sure come’s to realization is no matter what the situation, there definitely will be some life-changing twists and turns that you as a person will embrace and learn to live by. You’re wise enough to make friends who genuinely nurture and care about your friendship, love and affection and reciprocate it in the same way if not better. You unabashedly perform a cleansing act when you know someone is not important to you minus all the guilt. Yes, guilt free living becomes the mantra of your life.

You truly realize the meaning of Me Time which allows you to unplug from everything around you and just be yourself. Complimenting yourself puts a smile on your face which in the earlier ages fished for “likes” and “double taps” on social media. You no longer wait for a convincing compliment and neither does a criticizing remark brings down your morale.

And finally, you do get to a point to crack intelligent jokes. Like famously quoted, you learn to CYA

Girl Goes the Fitness Path

Who doesn't need a healthy living which can be easier to achieve and a lot more fun. Everyone's super busy these days, with their time being valuable. So to really squeeze out time to get fit can be a daunting task. It's extremely easy to procrastinate but you really need someone to kick you in your butt and ask you to get into those yoga pants that are getting shredded in your wardrobe.

With working out, one of the most important ground rule is to keep it real. You will not wake up to a six-pack abs overnight. It's important to have someone constantly remind you that to be fit is a no-bullshit approach. A mix of workout can be awesome fun - Cross fit, kick boxing, yoga, boot camping (I am sure there are many more to come as I explore my workout routine). Someone truly said, variety is the spice of life. It's so apt when it comes to workout, because unless you beat monotony, there's no fun.

Fitness not only makes you stronger, it also empowers your thoughts, makes you more self-loving and self-accepting. As a women, it helps you get candid with your body, appreciate feminism.

For the avid food-lover that I am, fitness comes to me as an added advantage because it keeps my metabolism raring to go so that I can binge on anything. Yes, I know you might be thinking that if I don't maintain a diet to go with fitness then it's all gone down the drain. But who cares, as long as I make heads turn, I am good on the fitness-meter. ;)

To be surrounded by friends who vouch on being fit is a value add. They inspire you, challenge you, motivate you and in the end don't feel complex in complimenting you. You just feel refreshed on an otherwise ordinary day. The transformation stories that you narrate with pride is all worth it. It's only when you evolve, is when you deeply fall in love with yourself and being fit does just that. It helps you evolve and re-energize  yourself.

I only wish I had started off a lot earlier, but better late than never. I just love the new me, the fit and fabulous me.